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Under the Shelter of Violence

by plaguestate

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1.
you really think you know what death tastes like then they open you up you feel nothing at all pain kept me conscious I accept the embrace half numb self-negating so sick of waking up let the fruit of despair liberate your belief moments of clarity burn away like a shadow become what you seek to know as we trace along scars fade with each new dawn inviolable dread plagues me anxiety intrudes still I force myself to live another day if it gets any louder I can’t ignore to pretend things will get any better I cry out and wish I could take all this pain make it passion and happiness mirrored would life do the same when you’re all alone who the fuck is to blame at these heights a fall seems like floating traces of chaos set gravity free I stare into a world without an anchor as I free myself of the curse of being and time in solitude I don’t need mediation if I choose to live I must endure we’re a violent kind we live violent lives I welcome the tempest mirrored would it do the same we’re a violent kind we live violent lives at these heights a fall seems like floating
2.
I’ve got a suggestion for you unfurl the red white and blue glorified blood-soaked rag consider your “stars and stripes” they symbolize ethnocide erased indigenous lives at the behest of avarice men we can’t sit by for it to happen again we're on borrowed time bad luck is infinite, we thought we had a great moment, we bought ignorance ruined it, we lost these are the consequences a fever in the blood they'll make the children witness the horrors they construct we’ll take the power back with every death our needs will be met discovered salt to cure to cure the kill, by force of will don’t confess don’t repress don’t repent for wanting to exist we know the road to freedom has always been stalked by death with a riot right outside your door will you still be obsessed with domination over all around you as fascists rise up like a sore we’ll disinfect their hate your silence will not will not protect you here’s a list of demands take the power out of old hands discuss the ramifications of 400 years of enslavement and murder recognize that women’s rights are a human right recognize that trans rights are a human right your silence will not protect you your silence will not protect you your silence will not protect you your silence will not protect you Trans Lives Matter Black Lives Matter your silence will not protect you your silence will not protect you
3.
the wind in the shadows under the light of our own day nothing interests us beyond our own personal agony past the point of no return we wrote our final poem it’s hard to say goodbye but we all live to die blood relative to the inscrutable knife written in ink thicker than life convulsive beauty, delicate tissue pain kept me conscious, now it wants me back in the shadow of Abraham’s curse under cross, stars and crescent I am heavens runaway I am heavens runaway convulsive beauty, delicate tissue pain kept me conscious, now it wants me back speak in love analyze the lens of necessary truth long enough you find It’s just as subjective sometimes it’s best to just remain silent only we can save ourselves from each other few alive know how very precious a quick death is at the end our mortality permanently confirmed they tell you nothing of the pain you can expect at the end as you suffer the yoke of belief the structure of religion mirrors the current economic tactic for coercion by the ruling class thereupon I cannot doubt except, to doubt and to live consuming information and despair we can’t save ourselves from a nation expired
4.
we want some place to call our own born into bodies betrayed at birth we stay closed inside ourselves if I could I’d become someone else willingness to live or die I meet my fate the world and I willingness to live or die I meet my fate the world and I led by indulgence pride in pain lyricism of suffering a chant of the wretch my flesh accidental limits disappear absolute uselessness subjective fear I can’t contain the joy that this end is near prisoners of fragile bodies paranoia in post-modern times with my claws I confirm my vessel I howl and claim autonomy life a long agony on the path to death obsessive I linger until my last breath keys to depression I scream at the air if I can still love me I’ll live without fear open the hearts of those who object open the necks of all assailants if I can still love me I’ll live without fear if I can still love me I’ll live without fear

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released March 5, 2021

Produced, recorded and mixed by Jesse Nichols at Atomic Garden West (Oakland, CA)

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plaguestate San Francisco, California

Bay Area Hardcore Collective

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